Full Quote: “You need to spend intimate time together at least once a week and probably more like twice. And that has to be negotiated. And if you don’t negotiate it… and if you don’t make it a priority, then it won’t happen in all likelihood. And then, well… Well, then you don’t have it and that’s a catastrophe, because there’s not that many things in life that are, you know, intrinsically- what would you say- engaging and meaningful and pleasurable and also bonding and all of that. And if you let that go, well… part of you dies and part of the relationship dies. Well, then there’s always the possibility of becoming attracted by alternative entanglements, which you would do if you had any spirit left. Right? I mean, that’s the thing- Well, if you’re not- if your relationship at home is entirely unsatisfying sexually, what are you supposed to do with that? Nothing? Are you supposed to just bear it? I mean, in one way, the answer is: Yes, because it’s your marriage. But another way is, well… What? That’s all the fight you’ve got in you? You’re gonna just let the erotic element of your life die? And accept everything that goes along with that because you’re not willing to cause a bit of trouble to ensure that it’s maintained? And, you know, we’re not very good at thinking these things through consciously. I mean, people are bad at negotiating, period, as far as I can tell. They’re particularly bad at negotiating things that are deeply private. How much do you want your partner to know about you anyways? It takes a lot of trust to have a real conversation about what you need and want.”
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